We must learn to measure our efforts not by short-term effectiveness but by long-term faithfulness to the vision we care about. - Parker J. Palmer

Walk into most homes in the 1800s and you’d find only two rooms: one, a public space called the hall, and two, a more private room, the chamber.

Our ancestors lived in conditions of far greater intimacy—cooking, eating, working, even having sex while others were in the same room. And were you to need a place to stay at a local inn, you’d likely end up sharing a bed with a stranger. For most of human history, life simply happened in the company of others.

Indeed, the phrase “a right to privacy” didn’t mean escaping the people around you, it appeared only after the introduction of the camera in 1890.

The idea that “gathering” or “building community” needs intentional effort is therefore quite a novelty. And it has yet to find solid footing as a sustainable enterprise—though innovative efforts continue. As a culture, we’re trying to find new social structures that help us get together. And as someone designing for belonging, a key question remains: how do you create an invitation that compels people to show up.

Look no further than Cake Picnic—a gathering hosted in a public park where every person attending brings a cake. How delicious and delightful!

For this week’s newsletter, I interviewed its founder Elisa Sunga to see if there’s some gathering strategies we might learn…

Elisa’s inspiration for Cake Picnic was simple enough: "I just love cake!”

“Growing up in the Philippines, the desserts I knew were mostly sticky, sweet rice. So I didn’t know what cake was until I moved to California when I was fourteen. I feel like I’m on a delayed adventure of discovering what desserts are,” she explains. “People bring cakes from across the world—there’s so much variety! It’s like an R&D event for me. I learn about new flavor combinations, new cakes. I just learned about this cake with fennel in it…”

She started small—hosting a holiday party cookie exchange. “I’d only seen it in movies, “ she said, “but forty people came! And then they messaged me afterwards asking if we could do it again—it was such a high.”

Inspired by the tea party in Alice in Wonderland, she set out to host an event with cakes. “The only requirement was that you have to bring a whole cake. It could be homemade or store bought—I didn’t care, but that was the one rule: No cake, no entry.”

Elisa posted an invitation on Instagram and the platform Partiful, hoping fifteen friends might make the effort. But then it went viral. Over 300 people RSVP’d and 183 showed up.

“I didn’t know if people were taking it as a joke. And because there was no ticketing, until half an hour before the picnic, I had no idea if people were serious about coming!”

Now, she’s taking Cake Picnic on tour, with events in Los Angeles, London and New York as well as her hometown of San Francisco. And others have started replicating the model at a smaller scale.

So, why does it work?

1. Novelty‍

“To be surrounded by as many cakes as there are humans is definitely something special, right? The cake buffet has more cakes than every birthday, wedding, or celebration you have ever attended in your life…A super introverted friend of mine came because his curiosity was so piqued. He just wanted to see what hundreds of cakes look like!”

2. Freedom Within A Framework‍

That single rule of “No cake, no entry” gives a clear invitation of what to expect. It creates enough of a barrier that participation becomes meaningful, as everyone else has also gone through the hassle of bringing a cake. But within that framework is a lot of freedom. “There’s no guidance—anyone can decide what kind of cake to bring. It’s an open canvas!”

3. My Contribution + Visual Spectacle = Viral Content‍

Hundreds of cakes pictured together looks really good on the gram. And participants at Cake Picnic immediately see how their individual effort contributes to the larger spectacle—which they then want to share on social media.

At a recent Cake Picnic, an entire team from a famous NYC bakery showed up, making the room buzz with the excitement of celebrity. Home bakers not only felt like they were contributing to something bigger—but to something excellent.

The same is true at Gaia Music Collective, where one-off groups of singers are filmed at the end of their 3-hour session, and because it looks and sounds so good, they share it with their own followers. Plus, Gaia also features surprise artists participating alongside everyone else. In this way, Cake Picnic attendees drive the virality without Elisa needing to ask.

There’s still a few things Elisa wants to figure out, though.

• Scaling Intimacy‍

“My original vision was that, like at the cookie exchange, each person would go around the circle to share their name, where they come from, and what cake they brought,” said Elisa. But doing that with hundreds of people wasn’t feasible.

(Luckily others have thought about this question of scaling intimacy a lot already!)

• Sustaining Grunt Work‍

“I become a sort of customer service provider with each event. I receive an insane amount of questions! Like, does a child have to bring a cake? Does my dog?!”

Sustaining this kind of vibe-killing labor is hard. In my experience, founders can do it for about three-to-five years and then burn out, especially if they aren’t getting paid.

• Structuring the Future
  

“I now have waitlists for 2025 with thousands of people on it. But is this just a trend? Will it last?”

Elisa has started partnering with institutions to host Cake Picnics, providing some income and helping with the logistics—suggesting this may become an enduring social structure. (Just think of the proliferation of 5K races over the last two decades as another example.) But only time will tell!

Either way—Cake Picnic has inspired my next birthday party… No cake? No entry!